Cathleen
The Philippines
my name is Cathleen Mari Bool
[Cath-leen Ma-ree Boh-OL]
My divine roots are from the Philippines.
I identify as Filipina American.
I was born in Manila, Philippines.
I have been living in Los Angeles, CAlifornia since 2005.
ROOTS
Both of my parents were born in The Philippines. My mom was born in Ilijan, Batangas and my dad was born in Bulan, Sorsogon.
They both had humble upbringings in small coastal provinces, coming from big families. My paternal grandfather was a fisherman and a handyman, working pretty much every job he could find to put food on the table for his wife and 8 sons and daughters. My maternal grandfather was a farmer, bringing his harvest and animals to the market to provide for his wife and 10 sons and daughters. Every sibling was responsible for their immediate younger sibling's college education.
With their upbringing came ambition, the American Dream was what they wanted to achieve for my sisters and me. Together, they planted new roots in Los Angeles, CA, USA in order to provide better opportunities for us. They are both civil engineers, so California was their dream destination for their careers and our family.
have you visited the land?
I was born there and have returned twice since immigrating. I visited in 2009 & 2017.
do you speak the language?
Yes, I speak Tagalog. My dad speaks Bicolano, which is a whole other language in itself. This is a language I could learn more about.
we shot off of pacific Coast Highway — why does that setting feel like home for you?
The ocean means a lot to me because it’s a place to channel my own ancestral roots. My ancestors grew up by the sea, my parents did as well. It’s a way to connect with my people who came before me.
Growing up, the ocean has always been my refuge. It’s a place I would go when I was going through things, bad or good. I would go no matter the weather. Even if I was sad and it was raining, I would go there; it reflected how I felt. I’ve also made so many wonderful memories on the beach with my family and friends.
what do you love most about la?
There's so much natural beauty here from the landscapes to the sunsets, and the palm trees that line the roads. And of course, people watching. People take pride in their style here, and it all looks effortless because of their confidence. Once I finally pull my eyes from my phone or divert my attention from my chatty mind to what's in front of me, the scenery immediately inspires me.
what don’t you love about la?
the reputation of inauthenticity and the social climbing culture. PEOPLE OFTEN JUMP TO "what do you do for work?" AS SOON AS THEY CONNECT WITH A NEW PERSON, BEING TRANSACTIONAL INSTEAD OF GENUINE.
how has your experience in la affected your worldview?
Growing up in LA has made me fearless. Of course I feel fear, but from the moment I moved here, I’ve learned to push through and grow despite it.
My family moved from The Philippines > Singapore > San Diego then finally to los angeles. For the longest time, my coping mechanism was to assimilate and blend in. Even as a young kid in Singapore, I had to assimilate. I graduated from elementary school in San Diego and was finally starting to feel more confident as an immigrant when my parents told us we’re moving again.
We had been moving so much, I had a visceral reaction coming here. I lived in a part of the San Fernando Valley where it felt more congested, unsafe, and less abundant compared to Singapore and San Diego. There were gunshots, police, gang culture, a higher teen pregnancy rate. Kids always bully new people, they didn’t make me feel welcome. I got my uniforms from our local Goodwill. I felt like a “havenot.” I was very scared. I cried. I remember asking to be transferred to different school, and my mom said, "Cathleen, you have to be strong."
I graduated high school when the recession hit. Unfortunately, my parents got laid off. Eventually, I got a salary position with the intention of going back to school. Though I was the breadwinner for a short time, being in my early twenties and earning that much money felt like a big deal. I wanted to go back to business school but abandoned that for an opportunity to move to Thailand for a new job.
While education was really important to my parents, we were greencard holders, so financial stability was important as well. I was just trying to survive with my parents, and as the oldest daughter, I internalized the responsibility to become high-achieving, hard-working, and relentless. I felt that The reason we’re here is for better education and opportunities, to validate my parents' journey here. I gained experience in whatever I wanted to do and was fiercely stubborn in paving my own way.
what are examples of intergenerational resilience in your culture?
hurricanes and typhoons hit the Philippines almost every year. This means rebuilding from rubble for different communities across different regions, very often in a 5-year span. But the community does so, relentlessly, every time.
In Tagalog and Filipino culture, this is called "kapwa", or the unity of self with others. This is a cornerstone in Filipino cultural values, which is the opposite of the West, in going it alone or "Each man for himself" mentality.
what are examples of intergenerational trauma in your culture?
Even though we currently have our own government, it’s corrupt and we haven’t caught a break since the 1300s when the Spanish came along and colonized thousands of indigenous tribes.
Then, Americans took our land, and imported us to American territories for cheap labor. Enticed by a promise of a “better life” people left to work and support their families in the Philippines.
The ideology around keeping our heads down and working hard to earn money for our families resulted in staying quiet to be competitive and not wanting to cause waves.
how do you break the cycle?
That aspect had always shown up in my negotiation skills, until recently. I finally started taking a risk of making waves and asking for what I thought I deserved. It actually inspired my dad to do the same.
how do you honor your roots / culture?
By learning more about it, really embracing it, revisiting it with my family, and then sharing my learnings with others. I look for it wherever I go. The reason I find it so important to share my findings immediately, is because Filipinos have been invisible for a long time. We are part of what started the farmers protests in California in the mid 1900s, fighting for the rights of all brown farmers.
*more about the Filipino leader of the farmworking revolution - Larry Itliong.
CATHLEEN is a UX/UI designer, explore her work at
@cathleenmari
places in the local community that feel like home:
my mom’s kitchen or catering in the backyard via barriofiestafoods.com. i have two fave dishes: sisig and sinigang!
wanderlust creamery - filipino and travel inspired ice cream flavors. need i say more?
people in the online community you are inspired by:
Nelita V aka Sensei Bae inspires me because she practices Kali/Eskrima/Balintawak, the Filipino martial arts. My ancestors fought with sticks, knives, fists, and kicks. And that’s super badass.
maari - artfully curated textiles, jewelry, and home goods inspired by Filipino cultural heritage and traditions
bahala na - LA based lifestyle brand celebrating Filipino culture through goods that capture the optimistic spirit of our people.